Just say no

Berliners have a very lenient approach to child raising, which involves letting their children do exactly what they like no matter how destructive to themselves or those around them. My neighbour upstairs has a two year old that has several interesting toys which can all make a good deal of noise on a stripped wooden floor. His newest one appears to be a hammer, and prompted my first bleary-eyed 7 a.m. trip up the stairs to knock on the door and politely ask if the bang bang banging could perhaps stop. She looked surprised and said ‘ist mein Kind’ and shrugged, as though it would be entirely impossible for her to have any control over what the little fecker did. I am waiting until the next time I come in drunk at 4.30 a.m. at which point I’m going to put my music on very loud, and when she comes to the door I’ll say ‘ist mein Stereo’ and shrug my shoulders in a similar manner.