Freaks and lunacy
Yesterday I met someone for the first time and instead of behaving like a normal person and holding out his hand to shake, he offered me just his little finger. He said something at the same time, which in the bewildered and slightly panicky state that the proffered pinkie induced in me I didn't understand, but took to be something along the lines of 'I have a serious injury to the palm of my hand.' Looking back now I am pretty sure that he just said his name. Somehow I found myself responding by holding out my little finger, linking it to his, and shaking it. Why? Oh why? The mental picture I have of myself doing this will give me no peace. Accidentally saw The Sun's website today, and realised that they now do live reviews of indie bands. The world has gone quite, quite mad. Fortunately the bird flu seems to be getting better. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
Coughing for England
The virus I've been trying to get rid of for over a week now just refuses to go away. I fear that it must be bird flu.
Damen und Herren
For some reason most bars in Berlin seem to have an objection to revealing which is the male and which is the female toilet, until you’re right inside it and stumbling across a urinal. I don’t really mind this, as I’ve always used the gents anyway as I don’t like queuing, but still it seems odd. Maybe it’s all linked up to the nakedness thing.
Fun in the strangest places
On a recent trip to the fitness centre I found that I had to give up on my swim due to pains in my leg. However, nothing if not game, I decided to join in the aqua aerobics class that was going on in the other half of the pool. This resulted in a half hour of great entertainment for me, and I suspect even more so for anyone watching. We were each given a long thick foam cylinder, and the man at the side with the microphone proceeded to demonstrate various ways of balancing on them while we swung our arms and legs about. Of course when in the pool any attempt at balancing immediately produced a head first plunge beneath the surface of the water, which would probably explain why most of the other participants (who were overwhelmingly female and well over the age of 65) were not ever bothering to try to follow the instructions. The only time that everyone actually joined in was when he suggested that we put the phallic objects between our legs and, pressing down upon them, ride them as if they were hobby horses. After this, myself and a little old lady resolutely pushing our big foam dildos back and forth to each other seemed a trifle dull. My friend Cath visited last weekend, and did a very good job at not moaning as she sightsaw Berlin through various shades of blizzard. The long sloping curved pathway to the Bauhaus archive had been turned into some sort of luge by the wintry conditions, but unfortunately we couldn't find a handy tea tray to take advantage of it and make a really impressive entrance.
russianbrides.com
Recently met a very cool and funny Russki woman who has already been divorced twice by the ripe old age of 30. Life in the new Europe can be hard.
Who you gonna call? Gothbusters.
An insomnia attack meant that I watched the Oscars highlights show on Monday night. It would be easier to take Brokeback Mountain seriously if Heath Ledger didn't look so much like a young Brian Tyldesley. In doing some music research (honest) I discovered that there is a dating website specifically and exclusively for Goths. It's called gothicmatch.com. Aw. Quite a satisfying week in European football, though I was sorry to see Liverpool go out. Still it means that Gerrard can get more rest before helping England win the World Cup.
Taps
What was wrong with the ones that you just turned on and off?
Monkeys, Arctic not Surrender
The most annoying thing about Berliners
This would have to be the habit they have of walking up the left side of the escalator, but then seeing that their train isn’t there yet and so stopping about 8 steps from the top and just standing there. They do this even when there’s a train pulling in to the opposite platform, and since they have to realise that around half of those trapped behind them need to catch this other train, they must do it out of spite.
Now that the ice monster has gone I’m back on my bike and back searching for new accessories. Proper bike shops are a bit intimidating, and surprisingly expensive. In trying to work out why it’s so cheap to live here I came to the realisation that it’s basically rent and alcohol which are the amazing bargains. Of course these two items constitute my two highest expenditures by a long way, so this is good news.
They have some very peculiar looking churches here, especially around Schöneberg. They look like the winning entry of a design competition held among delinquent 14 year olds with personality disorders. All annexes sticking out at weird angles like bubonic growths on a diseased body. You can’t imagine seeing a church that looked like that in any city but Berlin.
